Another Afterword

My life has been a perpetual event; a perpetual moment of major effects.

I write in Dear Mom and Dad about various moments that have had a major effect on my understanding of what the heck was going on in the depths of my soul. Of all the moments of clarity the most significant, up to the point of publication, the three most significant were: the bathtub incident, the definition of a Wenkte and of course Genesis 1:26-27. But there have been more significant moments since that have further solidified my understanding of the dual nature of the soul God has blessed me with. But before I delve into the nature and in some cases the specifics of those incidents I need to backtrack a bit.

The first and most consistent issue that comes up is this. If I am truly dual-gendered then why am I living solely in Georgia’s world and not equally shared time with “George”? Good question. The answer to that question is rather simple. I was relegated to the shadows for years while George struggled to figure out a solution, and it was his solution to find. After all the body was his in all physical aspects.George is no more absent from my mind than I was from his. The only real difference in that respect is that I’m fully aware of where those “not so me” thoughts are coming from. For much of his life he didn’t.

Through the early years of my “coming out” I was terribly confused by the conflicting emotions. One minute it was me and then suddenly out of nowhere the emotions and the thought process was George. I realize that sounds schizophrenic but it wasn’t. In schizophrenia the person affected has practically no control over who puts in an appearance and literally takes over at any given moment. That’s not the way it was with me,,, us. I make the point in my public presentations that, short of serious mental illness like schizophrenia, we all have control over our actions, but not necessarily our emotions. When those conflicting emotions erupted I always had control over whether or not I responded to them and how I responded.

As I said, my life has been a perpetual event; a perpetual moment of major effects. However, if I had to pick one particular moment in time, that at the time was most significant, it would have to be that moment when I realized I was on the south bank of the Rubicon. I wonder if Caesar, when he stepped out of the water on the south bank headed for the Imperial City; if just for an instant, he didn’t think, “Oh shit, what the hell have I done? Why didn’t I just surrender command and control of my future to the status quo and let someone else remain in charge?” That would be my single most significant moment, because of all the moments, that was the one moment with no recourse, no re-do, no return.

But was it Georgia or George’s emotions serving up that tumultuous batch of thoughts? After the tempest settled down in my/our head I had to admit that it was George. And it was George who rather quickly said, “Okay, okay, I get it. It’s your turn to take full and complete charge, but I’m not going away, ever. I will always be here just as you have always been here.” And with that, I proceeded toward the Imperial City.

If there is one central message I want to convey in Dear Mom and Dad it would be that if …when one really wants to live their life joyfully, meaningfully and purposefully, take the time and the effort to get to know your Maker and let Him show you what all those likes, dislikes, passions, talents and ambitions were intended to be used for. All of those ingredients that are you, are the recipe that if followed will result in a life that is a veritable banquet. Will it be perfect? Of course not. It is life after all. But, it will be fulfilling and satisfying beyond imagination. There will be moments like the last sentence of Dear Mom and Dad, when I quote an old Dennis the Menace cartoon, “Wish I was three again … knowing what I know now.”

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